Here I am!! Have you missed me? I have definitely missed you. I spent about 3 hours last night catching up on all your blogs and I became completely aware of how fast time flies by. No need to be worried though… I am here to assure you, all is well. I have not lost my mind or my ability to write, I was not kidnapped by gypsies or pirates, and I have not been locked away in anyone’s basement. Although any of those scenarios would probably make a really intriguing blog post… none of them happened.
I remember sitting here in the same spot over a year ago. I had left my full-time job, had free time on my hands… and I was so excited. It had been years since I had been able to focus on writing or doing anything that I truly wanted to be doing really. Now I’m blurry eyed and lost to where all that time went. It all started so slow and I felt so prepared, focused, and ready for the lifestyle that I had only dreamt about.
I started the new year ambitious, on schedule, full of energy and ideas! Now its June. June! What? What happened? Life. Life Happened. As it has before, as it always does. I got a job as a substitute para educator, my family and I were sick for over a month, my blog turned a year old, I turned 45, I got voted President of the PTA, my son is graduating High School in 2 weeks, my younger kids have end of the year activities for days, and I have a new baby. Yep, you heard me right… a new baby. Welcome Opie to the family!
Too cute right? He is my Mother’s Day gift from my husband and kids 🙂 Anyway… we can talk more about him at another time. My point here is that up until this moment, I feel like I haven’t had a moment to just sit, take a breath, or think, much less write. Because I have been spinning….
Now my two younger kids have reached that wonderful age where they have mastered spinning. Basically meaning; They don’t trip over their own feet every time they start to turn, they don’t fall down every 5 rotations, and they can go in one direction, then switch and go the other direction. It is great! Free entertainment. And they can do it for hours. I have watched them so many times and they go, go, go, laughing until they can barely breathe. I don’t get it. I should, because I’m fairly certain that my mom would tell you that I did the exact same thing – ALL the time. But hard as I try, I can’t remember why.
Spinning for me? Definitely not the same thing. To me, it feels more like being way too drunk. Lying on the bed, being uncontrollably pulled down into it… with a hand on the night stand, or a foot on the floor, searching for some sort of stability or a way of making it stop, but it offers no reprieve. It’s nauseating, exhausting, and seems to be never-ending. That is what it feels like to me. I absolutely hate it. But unfortunately, it was not because I’m drunk and it wouldn’t stop.
Now sitting here, writing, in this moment… I get it. Our calendar will always be full of things to do. Our kids will always need us to be there for something. Our spouses will always want more of our time. There will always be work that needs to be done. Doing what you love and making time for what you are passionate about is never easy. I think that is what makes it so rewarding. It is about not getting caught up in the day-to-day grind. Not letting your schedule control you. You have to make time for you. And it is okay to say no sometimes. I try to do everything, and realistically… it’s not possible.
Here are some tips I have come up with if you ever feel like you are stuck on the merry go round of life:
- Acknowledge how you are feeling as soon as you recognize it – write it down if you need to or keep a daily journal to get you in touch with how you are feeling so you know before you start to spiral.
- Have a schedule, but make it flexible – 2 hours on Tuesday morning is the same as 2 hours on Thursday night; if it is available. So don’t pin yourself down too tight.
- Unless it’s an emergency – NEVER cancel date night. One on one time is so important to maintaining your connection. Even if you don’t have the money to go out – go for a walk. It’s about the time you spend together.
- Say no – If something doesn’t fit into your schedule or will take away from what you need to do for yourself; Say no and then let it go. Don’t feel bad about it. Whatever it is will happen with or without you.
- If you are feeling overwhelmed – Share it with someone who cares about you and will listen. Write a blog about it 🙂 Whatever you need to do to bring it to light and get some support.
- Allow yourself to have fun with your kids! Not homework time, bath time, dinner time… Fun time. They will remind what pleasure there is in life… no matter how simple. You may even find yourself doing a cartwheel or something you haven’t done for 10 years!
- If the question ever comes up – ALWAYS say yes to the PIG!